I’ve been thinking a lot this week about kindness, and what that means. And really, isn’t it anything, even the smallest thing, that changes the moment, or our day, or even our way of thinking? We all know what it’s like when someone does something unexpectedly kind – how touching and wonderful that feels. It has the power to turn around our whole day. What would it be like if we could all do those things, all the time? I would argue that the world would feel very different.
This is a post that I have been hesitating about writing, for many reasons. For one thing, I am not always sure how much I want to share on here, and also, I don’t want to bring anyone down. However, I promised myself when I started this blog that I would make it personal, and nothing could be more personal than this. This past week we had to make the difficult decision to put down our beloved dog, Scout. I had been fighting it all the way, ever since he was diagnosed with a brain tumor earlier in the month. The treatments were expensive, and long, and only going to buy some time. Nonetheless, I was adamant about pursuing it. However, before we could even start the radiation treatments, he had an emergency situation unrelated to the tumor which made us have to do it sooner. A friend said to me that it was almost like he knew it would be stressful, and expensive, and so he made the decision for us. I don’t know if that’s true, but I like to think so. Nature did make the decision for us, but that hasn’t made it any easier. The fact that he was so young has made it that much harder. I truly feel like I lost a part of me when I lost him. Everywhere that I turn there is a reminder of him. It is especially hard to be in our house as his spirit is everywhere. As my husband said, he was a big presence here.
I need to step away from any thoughts of decorating, or clothing, or errands, or “to do’s” today. Last night my beloved Golden Retriever, Scout, had a sudden and unexplained seizure. It was horrible. To experience someone you love, human or canine, thrashing and drooling and unaware is just simply, terrifying. Today I had planned on writing about something else, but I decided that this blog should reflect me and if it is going to do that, then today I need to share about him. I fell in love with him as he slept in my arms the first day we had him, and he’s had me wrapped around his paw ever since. Because of him I have a special place in my heart for Goldens. They are truly, golden.